Flashes of You
by Miko Akako
Summary: I love you too Matt. And I always will. No matter what you say. MattxMello COMPLETE
1. Matt

**Miko: **So my idea is for this to be a 3-shot (1st Matt, 2nd Mello, 3rd Reunion). I may add a 4th to take place right before they die. Let me know if you think I should. (:

This story was inspired by 'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot' by Brand New. You should listen to that song. Its so MattxMello

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything to do with Death Note or Brand New.

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**Flashes of You**

"I'll always love you, Mel." The red-haired teen whispered to the picture in his hand. He could almost see the blonde's mouth twitch into a smirk, though the annoyed glare was permanent on the blonde's face. "No matter what you say to me."

The red-head tucked the picture into his pocket carefully, making sure not to bend the corners. He knew what Mello would say if he could see Matt now. For a moment, he could almost see Mello sitting on the twin bed across from him. The blond would roll his eyes and push a lock of gold hair from his perfect face. A lazy smirk would then dominate his features a moment before he spoke in a lazy drawl.

"Don't be ridiculous Matt." Then he would snap a bite of chocolate with his teeth and flip onto his back to stare at the ceiling. His hands would drift behind his head and his legs would bend at the knees. Matt would just watch him until the blonde grew bored of his audience.

"Get out of here, Matt." He would say, tilting his head to see the red-head from the corner of his eye. "You're such a fucking retard." And Matt would smile and leave because he knew what Mello was really saying behind the hostility.

But then Mello had left, and not even Matt knew where he had gone to. From the pocket he had just discarded the picture into; he pulled out a torn piece of paper. The words were scrawled hastily, and were almost intelligible.

_Matt,_

_Don't try to find me. I don't want to see you again. Enclosed is enough money to start your programming business._

_Goodbye,_

_Mello_

_P.S. Don't waste it on cigs_.

Matt would not have followed Mello anyway, no matter how his heart shattered in his chest. He knew that one day Mello would come back for him, even if only to tell him how useless he was. However, part of him wanted to retreat into a ball and cry on the floor. What if the words were true? What if Mello really didn't want to see him again? But no. Mello must care about him if he left him the money, almost $15,000 American dollars. But Matt refused to use the money, because it was one of the only things he had left from Mello.

Despite everything his heart told him, life continued without Mello. If the daze the red-head walked around in could be counted as a life. If Matt was indifferent to the world while Mello was around, he had now withdrawn totally into himself. With Mello and Near gone – the albino had left days after Mello – Matt was consistently the top of the class. But he didn't care about that. Every day he would walk back to his room hoping he would see the blond waiting just inside the door, leaning against the wall. He would be holding a bar of chocolate, which he would take a bite of just as Matt walked in the room.

"I knew you would come back." Matt would say. He would be stopped in the doorway, not daring to move in case he broke the illusion and the blond angel ran away again.

"Of course." Mello would say, shrugging, just a rise of his shoulder so slight no one but Matt would even know what he meant by it. But Matt would know, and he would let a smile drift over his lips for the first time. "Ready to blow this crap hole?" And Matt would grab his jacket, goggles, and game boy and they would leave together, the envy of every orphan in the house.

But Mello never came, and the years passed. The burning fire in Matt's chest turned to a dull ache that kept him lying awake at night, unable to cry, but still unable to sleep. On those nights, he would pretend he could hear Mello's steady breath in the bed beside his. At first, the high pitched snore had kept Matt awake and grinding his teeth. But all too easily it had become a soothing lullaby, without which he couldn't sleep. Somehow, Matt made it three years without Mello.

It was only the hope of turning the corner and running into the blond that kept Matt moving. The suspense – tension - building as he neared a room. The door would open and his eyes would light in hope, only to fade as he realized there was no one waiting for him, smirking and annoyed. The paper containing Mello's last goodbye was so worn from being read that it was almost white. That was when Matt decided something had happened to Mello. But the picture of Mello, lying hurt and broken on the ground, did not match with any of Matt's memories, so he rejected it. But still…

When he walked towards the gates of Wammy's with a backpack slung across his shoulder, he almost thought he saw Mello leaning against the gate, smirking sideways at Matt as he approached. But the only person standing at the gate was Rodger, who didn't say anything as Matt left Whammy's House for the last time. In fact, Matt thought he almost saw approval flash across Rodger's face, but soon the old man was pushed to the back of his mind. Already, Matt could picture his reunion with Mello.

The background was nondescript, but Mello would be busy – sometimes eating a bar of chocolate, sometimes arguing with Near – and he wouldn't see Matt's approach. Matt would have a minute to just look at the figure of his best friend in silence, as he never could do when Mello was staring back at him. Then some sound – the scuff of a boot, the beep of some electronic device – would alert Mello to the second person in the room. The blond would turn quickly, rising into a defensive stance, to face Matt. His face would go slack and then spread into one of those rare smiles Mello saved only for Matt.

"What the fuck took you so long, Matt?" He would ask, quickly hiding the joy behind the hostility again. Matt would smile and walked up to Mello so they were standing face to face.

"I was waiting for you." Matt would say, and Mello's face would contort into another rare emotion – shame and pity. Then the older boy would wrap his arms around Matt and pull him close.

"I didn't want to leave you." Mello would whisper into the red hair. "I thought you would find me sooner. I was so certain you would use the money to find me." And Matt would pull back to look at the older boy.

"I found you now." He would say. "And now you never need to run away again." And he would press his lips to Mello's as he had only dreamed of doing before. Then he would pull away and burry his head in Mello's chest. "Now we can be together forever."

"Forever." Mello would agree.

Matt didn't know where to start looking for his happy ending, but he knew that nothing would stop him. The thought of possibly seeing Mello again soon was enough to keep Matt searching forever. And he knew just where to look if Mello ever intended them to meet again. Once safely out of Whammy's, Matt pulled out his unused laptop and powered it up. Searching through the memory, he found what he was looking for.

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**Miko:** So this is my first attempt at Matt/Mello. Let me know if you could follow it, because I tried something weird with the time(sort of - the flashes forward don't actually happen, Matt just imagines them). After I hear back about that, I'll write the next chapter, this one in Mello's POV.

**UPDATE: **Fixed a few spelling/grammer mistakes. If you see any more, PM me please. (: I wrote this at like 11 at night when I should have been studying for a history test, so I'm sure I'm missing some mistakes. xx;


	2. Mello

**Miko: **Writing Mello's POV was hard. I'm still not sure I like it, but it'll have to do. I've been working on this for like three hours a day since the first chapter. I have a few scrapped copies that I may finish and put as stand alone one-shots.

The next chapter will be easier. I may make this a few more then four chapters, though. And they may not find each other in the next chapter. But...please review and let me know what you think?

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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**Hiding from You**

The leaders of the Mafia watched the blonde boy pace behind the plush couches. A few times they considered breaking the silence, but the harsh, rhythmic pounding of the boy's footsteps warned them that any intrusion on his pattern would be punished. Looking at him, it was impossible to see just how the blond had the most powerful underground mob bosses cowering from him, but the murderous look in his eyes was enough to stop anyone in their tracks.

As the boy paced, he waivered between feeling angry and scared and hurt. It had been three years since he had left Wammy's House, and still Matt had not contacted him. As he had left all those years ago, his only worry was that Matt would not find him, but he had never even thought the red-haired teen would not even try. He could remember that day as if it was yesterday.

_L is dead…_The words were echoing in his head as he strode purposefully to his room. Roger had proposed working with Near, but Mello knew that in that situation, he would always be treated as the lesser; a mere underling to Near. Even the thought was enough to make him boil over in anger. So he had left, intending to storm out of the orphanage, but he couldn't leave without leaving Matt a way to follow.

Mello was glad to find the room he shared with Matt empty. If the red head were to walk in on Mello now, there would be no way they could leave. It only took Mello a minute to hack into Matt's computer and leave his contact information in some remote program that only Matt would think of checking. Then, on a whim, Mello wrote the note and slipped a handful of bills into an envelope just in case Matt didn't want to follow the blonde into the unknown.

Even though Mello had left Matt a way out, he never thought Matt would actually take it. He had been so sure, surer then he had been of anything in his life, that Matt would want to follow. But, though Mello had waited, Matt never even looked for Mello.

So Mello forgot about his childhood friend. He had pushed the red head from his mind and focused on proving himself to Near and Roger and the world. He had worked his way to the top of the Mafia, a position never before held by an eighteen year old boy before. He had committed deeds that made him shudder to remember, but he had no regrets. Then, out of the blue, he got word that Matt had left Wammy's.

_Dammit, Matt. _He thought, fuming as he paced in the small room. _Damn, Damn, Damn. _Mello knew that if Matt found him now, he would be unrecognizable. He didn't want Matt to find him as such a had done such a good job pretending to be heartless for so many years that he almost believed it but he couldn't bear to let Matt see him that way.

"We've been compromised." The words escaped his lips before he had time to change his mind. "I want all data transferred to base C, and everything here burned to the ground. Nothing can be left here." He had stopped his pacing and the silence stretched out. "Nothing." And he turned and left, leaving panic in his wake. His mouth twisted up into a harsh smirk as he got on his motorcycle and sped through the streets, loosing himself in the speed. All good things end, though, and the wild ride ended too quickly for Mello to completely forget his red haired demon.

"Why now, Matt?" He was sitting in his apartment, glaring at the wall as if it had offended him. He couldn't even be sure Matt was coming to find him, but he wasn't going to sit around and wait to find out because then it would be too late. Alone in the apartment, Mello found his thoughts wandering as he had not allowed them to do in three years.

Matt had been the only person at Wammy's to accept Mello, and vice versa. By the time Mello had been taken to Wammy's, Matt was already three years into the program and a social outcast in an orphanage that bred children to be secretive and hostile. By some fluke of the system, Matt's previous roommate was moved and Mello put in his place.

It was with a slight smile that Mello remembered the first time he had seen Matt. The boy was lying on his stomach on the twin sized bed, tongue twisted out of his mouth in an absurd mask of concentration. Mello, not used to being ignored, pushed the boy off the bed and into a heap on the ground and set his stuff on the bed.

"Get this straight, kid." Mello said, ignoring the death stare the younger boy was giving him. "I don't want to be here and I don't want to be your friend. So stick to your side of the room and we'll get along just fine." To Mello's surprise, the boy just smiled and nodded, eyes hidden by goggles. "I'm Mello." He added lamely, the new name still weird on his tongue.

"Matt." And with that last word, the boy went back to his game, still sitting in a heap at Mello's feet.

But Mello hated to dwell on the past so he got up and grabbed a bar of chocolate to keep himself busy. Even as he snapped a piece off, he saw Matt in his mind again. It was the reunion he had always imagined.

Matt would show up at his door and it would be raining. Matt always looked vulnerable in the rain, fiery locks plastered to his face, goggles pushed up to his forehead because they were too streaked with rain to see through. Mello would open the door and look down into Matt's green eyes with disdain because that was the mask Mello wore to fool the world. Matt would be shivering in the cold, color rising in his face from the blood rushing to keep his pale skin warm.

Mello would sneer but step back, leaving the door open to indicate to Matt that he should follow. He would lead Matt to the bedroom where he would pull out a pair of pants and a shirt in Matt's size. He would toss them to the boy who would pull them on gratefully. But even with dry clothes, Matt would be shivering so Mello would act annoyed as he gestured for Matt to come and sit next to him on the bed. Matt would obey and Mello would wrap his arms around the thin boy, pulling him close enough to smell the smoke that always clung to the addict.

"You smell like shit." Mello would say, pulling Matt's face up so he could look into his green eyes a moment before slamming their lips together in a fierce battle for control which Mello would win because Matt wouldn't really be fighting. Their tastes, tobacco and chocolate, would mingle until there was no difference.

In the morning, Matt would promise to never loose Mello again, and Mello would apologize for leaving Matt in the first place.

But Mello had given up that dream years ago. He wouldn't be able to look Matt in the eyes now without wanting to turn and hide. And he knew the gamer would cringe in shame and horror if he could see Mello now, so deformed his soul had become. So Mello took out his phone and canceled the service.

Matt called two minutes later…_The number you have called is no longer in service. _And across the world from each other, they cried.

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	3. Reunion

**Miko:** I swear this story will be the death of me. I enjoy writing it so much I don't get any sleep anymore!

Anyway, as I was worried about, this will be a few more then three chapters, because I don't like to make any one chapter too long, and this one would have been much longer but I decided to cut it in half.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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**Fiery Reunion**

'_The number you have called is no longer in service.' _For the hundredth time Matt listened to the recording, hanging up only to dial it again in the hopes that he would hear Mello's voice pick up. He could still remember the blonde's tone, and he couldn't help but replay the conversation he had been expecting.

"Hello." Not a question, but a statement. Matt's heart would jump in his chest. It would be racing as he answered.

"Mel…" The word would be a whisper. All sound in the world would stop until the boy on the other end answered, surprise dripping off every word.

"Matt. Is that you?" Matt wouldn't be able to stop a chuckle from escaping his lips. "What the hell took you so long to find my number? I thought you were better then me with computers."

"I'm sorry." Matt would apologize for nothing, because it wasn't his fault, but that wouldn't matter. He would apologize because he couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Just get here now, Matt." Mello would say. "I'll meet you in the airport." And the line would go dead. They both knew where Mello had gone. It had taken Matt only a few moments to remember the conversation that he had had with Mello every time Near beat them on a test.

"One day I'll go join the Mafia." Mello would say. "My father was in it, you know." And Matt would grunt in reply, not even looking up from his game. It wasn't that he didn't care, but he didn't want to make a big deal over the fact that Mello would share something so personal with him.

As Matt got off the plane, he couldn't stop his eyes from searching the crowded air port for the familiar flash of blonde. But his eyes never found what he was looking for and so he made his way to a cab.

Two years passed and every day Matt looked for his golden haired angel. Several times he would catch a glimpse of something in a crowded room but each time he made his way to the spot, the person was gone. He tried to make his own life, mostly hacking computer systems for the highest bidder. But he knew that something was missing and he knew what that someone was. Mello.

During the days he could almost forget his golden haired demon, but at night he would wake in a cold sweat, Mello's name rolling off his lips in a silent plea. Sometimes it would be a nightmare, and some it would be a wonderful dream, but when he woke it was always a bad thing, because Matt would rather be with Mello in the worst nightmare then awake without him. Once he had woken up and thought he could see someone standing in the doorway to his room.

"Mello?" He asked, wiping his eyes to see better in the pitch black. "I can see you, Mello."

"Go back to sleep Matt." The voice said. "You're dreaming. Or high, knowing you." And the person chuckled; Mello chuckled. "Sleep off your high, Matt." And Matt obeyed, drifting off into sleep because Mello was right, he was tripping or drunk or both. When he woke up in the morning, he didn't know if the exchange was real or a dream but that didn't matter, because he had been with Mello.

Matt still wasn't stupid, though. He had compiled all the information he could on the local Mafia, but there were only vague reports on the area boss. No one was willing to talk, but from what little he had overheard, Matt knew the boss was quick-tempered, and that he constantly ate chocolate. It had taken him two years to get that much information, and despite his best attempts, he couldn't find the location the Mafia met at.

Then he hit a crack. One of his regular clients received an email from a . Matt tracked the email back to its sending computer and was out the door before he had time to change his mind. The location was remote, but Matt found it without a problem. When he got there, it was spouting smoke, and several small explosions were still going off.

"Mello!" Matt shouted, parking his car and running to the wreckage. He dug until his hands were bloody. He pulled glass and concrete and burning metal with no regards to his own safety. He knew now that Mello was there somewhere, buried under him, dying a slow and painful death. "Mello!" He shouted again, falling to his knees in a pile of glass. The spikes cut him but he was beyond physical pain now. Every second and Mello was closer to his death.

Finally, hours later, he uncovered a lock of gold hair. Within moments Mello's body was uncovered and Matt couldn't see through the tears. He took his goggles off and carefully lifted the unconscious body into his arms, holding him tight as though he would slip away again. If Mello really was in the Mafia, the last place he could be taken was a hospital, so Matt got in his car, refusing to put down his friend, and drove back to his apartment with the blonde cradled against his chest.

"This isn't how we were supposed to find each other, Mel." Matt said, laying the body on his bed. He sent a silent prayer that he had a fully stocked medical cabinet before stripping his friend of the few rags that had clung to his body. There was no room for modesty when half the unconscious boy's body was burnt and the other half covered in cuts and scrapes and bruises. Matt worked for hours cleaning his friend, but Mello didn't stir.

Finally Matt finished and was unable to bear the sight of Mello – strong, stubborn Mello – lying helpless on the bed covered in gauze. So Matt left the room and made it as far as the kitchen before breaking down into tears, falling to the floor to bury his head in his hands. It took him ten minutes to be able to stand again, and even then his legs felt shaky, as if unable to hold his 120 lbs. His world – his entire reason for being alive – was floating somewhere between life and death and could still go either way. It was just too much.

A week passed and Mello still didn't move. Matt had used all of his contacts to scrounge up an IV so the blonde wouldn't get dehydrated. He had also managed to get some painkillers, so hopefully Mello wasn't in too much pain. After that first night, Matt refused to leave Mello's bedside, neglecting himself food and rest. When he got too tired, he simply slept on the floor beside Mello, waking every time the unconscious boy moaned.

"Wake up, Mello." Matt said, tears streaming down his face. He wiped them away angrily – he had never cried before this – and faced the boy on the bed. "Wake up now! You've had time to recover. You almost don't need all these bandages. Get up!" But his words had no effect.

"I need you, Mel. If you ever cared about me, please wake up." A weak sound escaped the sleeping boy's lips and Matt leaned close to hear.

"Fuck…ing…looser…Matt." Never had Matt been so happy to hear those words. He laughed, and the blonde's lips twitched into a scowl before turning to a grimace of pain.

"Careful, Mello." Matt said. "You're still pretty burnt." He took the damp cloth off Mello's face.

"What the hell, Matt." He said, each word slurred in an attempt not to move his face. "Why didn't you let me die?"

"I…I found you." Matt didn't know what to say. Never had he considered that Mello actually wanted to die. "We can beat Near together now. Just like old times."

"Mhhmm…" Mello said. "You reek. Go take a shower." And he drifted back into sleep. Matt smiled, though, because for the first time in five years he felt like life was worth living. He was happy.

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**Miko: **I would be insanely grateful to anyone who could write an actual review. With good things and bad things and the like. Pretty please?


	4. Trials

**Miko: **Yay. Reviews make me happy. I really like this story now, and it's turning out to be a decent length so I'm happy. It's the first story I've ever written that's over three chapters. Go me!

So yeah, again this chapter was inspired by 'The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot' by Brand New.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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'**Standing trials for your sins'**

Mello didn't wake up for another week. Matt still kept up his silent vigil, but he no longer neglected himself in the process. Sometimes, when the red head was lighting another cigarette, he would find himself smiling – actually smiling – and would let out a small laugh, because the smile actually hurt. But the world was brighter for Matt because he knew that Mello was there, only a few feet away, at all times.

Though the blonde never regained consciousness, he had fits where he would scream and thrash so much that Matt had to lay on top of the unconscious boy to stop him from hurting himself. The first time it had happened, Matt had been sprawled out on the floor, PSP in one hand and a still-lit cigarette in the other.

"Nooooo…" The moan was faint, but it was enough to wake Matt up. He dipped a towel and water and put it on the burnt half of Mello's face, but the moaning didn't stop. "Ahhhh…." Then the tossing started. At first it was just a twitch of a limb, a readjustment of a hand, but then a massive tremor ripped through the blonde. Mello arched his back and screamed as though someone was beating him.

"Shhh, Mel." Matt said, trying to hold the bigger boy down. "You're safe here. You're safe." But even after a week lying in a bed, Mello was too strong for Matt. So Matt situated himself on top of the struggling blonde, trying not to put pressure on any of the still tender burns. Sometimes, Mello would get a hand or a leg free and lash out at Matt, ripping through his skin or throwing him against the wall like a rag doll. But Matt took it, whispering reassurances to his blonde angel and praying for the fit to pass.

After five days of that, Matt was covered in cuts and bruises, but he still couldn't think of a time he had ever been so happy. Of course, that happiness was still clouded by the fear that Mello wouldn't wake up. Whatever strange nightmare the Mafia member was stuck in, even Matt couldn't break through it. Sometimes, Matt would look at Mello sleeping on the bed and wonder if the blonde was suffering because of all the pain he had inflicted. If he was being judged for his sins, and only at the end would whatever god there was decide if he was fit to rejoin the world.

But Matt couldn't imagine Mello deserving such pain. Matt of all people knew how ruthless Mello would be in achieving his goals. Once, when they were only eight years old, Mello had pushed Matt down the stairs, breaking the red head's leg and causing him to miss a test. It had been their first week together and Mello still didn't believe Matt when he promised he had no interest in becoming the next L. Though Mello never apologized, Matt knew the blonde was sorry because he had actually sat with Matt for the night he was stuck in the nurse's office.

So Matt watched Mello, changing his bandages three times a day and accepting any pain the sleeping boy needed to inflict. Matt had even left to stock up on chocolate and cigarettes right after Mello woke up for the first time, but he hadn't left since then.

At the end of the second week, Matt was exhausted and there was no part of him left unscathed. Even his goggles were cracked, though he still wore them. Matt had just fallen asleep when Mello sat up. The movement was enough to get Matt's attention, but the gamer thought it was just another fit and was prepairing himself to be beaten and tossed for yet another night.

"God Matt, you look like shit." Mello's voice was still weak from the damage of the smoke, but there was a faint hint of humor in it. Matt looked up at his friend and smiled.

"Glad to see you're back." He said, carefully lifting himself to sit on the bed beside the blonde. "How do you feel?"

"Like I've been through hell and back." Mello said. The words were still slurred because the skin on his face was hard to move, and still painful if the grimaces were any clue. "So what's the damage?" Matt cringed then, afraid of how Mello would react. Even after the constant care, Mello's face would have permanent scarring.

"It's not too bad anymore." Matt said, walking gingerly to the bathroom to grab a mirror. Not knowing what else to say, he handed the shard of mirror to Mello. Matt couldn't look at Mello; couldn't bear to see the blonde's reaction. In truth, Matt thought the scar gave Mello character, but he knew Mello wouldn't see it that way. To his surprise, Mello didn't say anything as he set the mirror down on the bedside table. Several minutes of silence passed before the blonde spoke again.

"So why are you here, Matt?" He asked. "Why did you decide to show up after almost five years?" Matt just looked at his fingers, twisting them around each other. He couldn't tell Mello what he was thinking because he knew the blonde would laugh, but he didn't know of any lie that would be good enough.

"You didn't come for me." He said lamely. "It's just…I thought you would. I thought we were…I don't know…friends, I guess." He never took his eyes off his hands so he couldn't see Mello's face but from the silence, he guessed the blonde was angry. Then, out of no where, Mello's hands grabbed Matt's smaller ones, stopping the repetitive twisting.

"That's because I didn't want you to come." Mello said, tightening his grip on Matt's hands as the gamer tried to pull them away. "You were supposed to stay safe in England. This fight is between me and Near. You don't belong in the middle."

"Okay." Matt said. He knew that if Mello asked him to, he would be on the next flight out of the country. Matt tried to pull his hands away, but Mello still wouldn't release them.

"I tell you I want you gone and all you say is 'Okay?'" Mello asked, anger rising in his voice. "What would you do if I told you I wanted you to die, huh?"

"I'd ask you how." Matt said quietly, afraid of provoking Mello's anger more for fear that Mello would hurt himself. "If you really want me gone I'll leave. I have enough money to fly myself back to England."

"Fuck, Matt." Mello said. "That's not what I meant." The blonde shifted their hands to both of Matt's were in one of his. He used his free hand to turn Matt's head to face him. Before Matt could pull away, he felt rough lips press against his. He leaned in to the kiss, and let out a moan of disappointment when Mello pulled away.

"Go away, Matt." Mello had slid away from him and Matt didn't want to push his luck. "Go buy yourself a new outfit. Your clothes have holes in them." Matt smiled because it was true.

The red head didn't say anything as he left the room. He heard Mello lay back down and before he had made it to the kitchen he heard the annoying whining snore that meant the blonde had drifted into sleep already. "Sleep well, Mel." He said, picking up the keys to do as Mello had told him.


	5. Bad Luck

**Miko: **First I'd like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers. You guys make my day.

Then I'd like to apologize for the delay. Something happened to my computer and I couldn't get on to the internet. But I'm back now!

Oh, I'm obviously going to be taking liberties with the time frame. Because this is my story and I can. I also don't want to kill them. ): I may just go totally AU on this, but that'll be a surprise for the end which is rapidly approaching. Dundundun. Maybe your opinion will help me make up my mind. xP

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

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**Bad Luck**

As soon as Matt left, Mello grabbed the chocolate the red head had bought and locked himself in the bed room. Mello wasn't willing to admit how much the gamer's presence meant to him, but now that he was alone he started panicking. The piece of mirror was in his hands, and he felt as if his eyes were glued to the hideous scar that dominated his face. He couldn't look at himself without a look of revulsion, and he knew that he couldn't bear Matt to look at him either because ironically, he was now as ugly on the outside as he was on the inside.

His first idea was to sneak out of the house now, but he was forced to reject that idea when just the thought of standing up sent a tremor of pain racking through his body. So instead, he just sat on the bed, gingerly snapping off a piece of chocolate. Even that hurt.

Mello knew the exact second that Matt walked through the doors, and braced himself for the knock that was sure to come. Sure enough, the red head went straight for the door and crashed into it in his haste to get through. In any other circumstance, Mello would have laughed at Matt and made some rude comment, but the blonde didn't feel much like laughing.

"Are you okay in there, Mello?" Clearly Matt had slammed into the door with some force because his voice was forced, and broke pitch at the end. Mello put down the piece of glass and took a bite of the chocolate. "Answer me you ungrateful piece of garbage." Mello couldn't stop the laugh that came to his lips at the gamer's attempt to yell at him.

"I can hear you." Mello just snapped off a piece of chocolate in response. "Open the door, Mello!" Instead, Mello just lay on the bed, enjoying his chocolate while he waited for the red head to leave him in peace. It would be a long time.

Finally, Mello would guess over an hour later, there was quiet. Mello stood then and picked up the shard of glass to look into it obsessively. In his haste, he cut himself on one of the sharp edges and blood smeared on the reflective surface.

"Fuck!" He said, flinging the glass into the wall and putting his finger in his mouth. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." He said around his finger.

"What the hell did you do now?" There was only the faintest hint of alarm in the red head's voice which sounded strangely unmuffled. Mello spun around quickly to see the red head standing in the open doorway. "Give me that." Matt cleared the distance between them quickly and took Mello's hand in his.

"How did you get in here, Matt?" Mello never took his eyes off Matt's face as the gamer cleaned and bandaged his cut. "And when did you get a medical degree?"

"Well, I think spending over two weeks nursing someone back from death is a bit harder then bandaging a cut, but neither requires a medical degree." Matt's tongue was sticking out of his mouth as he focused on cleaning the cut. "And I have a key."

"Oh." Mello said. He let the red head tend to him in silence. It had been too long since he had been forced to deal with people near his intelligence, and he didn't like to find that he wasn't up to it. He decided to put it down to the painkillers still coursing through his system.

"So how have you been, Mello?" Matt asked, letting go of Mello's hand. Their eyes rose to meet and Mello just quirked an eye brow up.

"Cut the crap, Matt." Mello said. "There has to be a reason you showed up after five years. Did Near send you?" To Mello's surprise, the younger boy blushed.

"I don't talk to Near much." Matt said. "But at least he offered me the chance to go with him and be useful." Mello had to strain to hear the last. Anger rose in his chest, which surprised him. He knew he had no right to Matt after abandoning him, but the thought that Near had tried to get the gamer on his side hurt.

"Why didn't you go?" Mello tried to keep his voice light, as if he really didn't care.

"Near's a sniveling baby." Matt said. "Besides, I'm sure the government wouldn't approve of my…hobbies."

"Hmm…" Mello was happy – happier then he had a right to be. He managed to hide it in a scowl. "Bet you wish you'd gone with him now."

"What?" Matt asked, looking up at Mello quickly. "Why?"

"I'm not stupid, Matt." Mello said. "I'm hideous now. I honestly don't know how you don't cringe away from me." He flinched as Matt raised a hand to touch the burn, but didn't pull away.

"I don't think you're hideous, Mel." Matt said, dropping his hand. "It makes you look tough. You looked like a girl before." He smiled and jumped away when Mello swung to hit him. Instead of just hitting the air, though, Mello's hand swung all the way to hit the wall. The blonde was up in a moment, jumping and holding his hand cradled against his chest.

"How did you survive for so long?" Matt asked, laughing so hard he had to lean against the wall to support himself. He gulped as Mello glared at him. He didn't have time to run because the blonde's hands landed on either side of his head before he realized what was happening.

"Obviously you're bad luck for me." Mello said, smirking as he leaned in closer to the red head.

"Sorry." Matt squeaked out, his eyes flicking between Mello's eyes and his lips.

"That's okay." Mello said. "You can make it up to me." He stopped leaning in to lock his eyes with Matt's. He chuckled as Matt gulped.

"How can I do that?" Matt asked.

"I can think of something." For the second time, Mello pressed his lips against Matt's. This time he didn't pull back quickly. He pressed his body against the red head's, slamming the younger boy into the wall. Matt gasped, but quickly wrapped his hands behind Mello's head and twined his fingers through the blonde's hair.

When they finally broke apart, they were both gasping for air. Then it was Matt's turn to initiate the kiss, pushing the blonde back and onto the bed. Their legs twisted together as they each fought for control. It wasn't long before Mello had flipped them over so he was on top. His planted his hands on the smaller boy's shoulders and pulled back long enough to smirk. The delay gave the gamer a chance to catch his breath, which he did quickly before reaching his hands to pull the blonde's face to meet his.

Mello knew this would not end happily for either of them. For now, he decided, they could pretend. But soon Mello would have to leave. He knew that only bad things would happen to the red head if they stuck together, but that didn't matter right now. For now, Mello let himself get lost in the taste of his best friend as their bodies melded together on the bed. For now, the only thing that mattered was the desire he felt, and the desire he knew was returned by the red head squirming under him. For now, he would let himself be happy. Heartbreak could wait.

* * *

**Miko**: I'm upping the rating on this, but I don't think it'll get to M(sorry for those of you who would like that, but I can't write lemons to save my life. This chapter had me blushing and cringing.)

I tried to make Matt less...well, less like Bella, honestly. So he grew something of a spine. Let me know if you don't like him this way.


	6. Flight

**Miko: **So my computer is still broken. Well, not totally broken, but broken enough to annoy me so much I don't even turn it on in the morning. Finally I felt so guilty about not updating this that I had to get on.

I'll apologize in advance for the crappiness of this chapter. It is the longest one so far, if length makes up for the content. I promise the next one will be better. Mello can't put off their talk forever.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

**Flight**

Matt wasn't surprised to find himself alone in the morning. The indent where Mello had slept was cold, but the blonde's smell lingered on the sheets. The red head couldn't help the panic that rose in him because this scene was all too similar to the one five years ago.

Matt had gone outside to smoke - Mello wouldn't let him stink up the room – and he had taken his gameboy. Somehow time had gotten away from him and he sat outside for hours, and not just the few minutes it took for the cigarette to burn out. He walked in to the room, already smiling in the anticipation of telling Mello that he just beat his new game – twice- in one day. But the blonde wasn't there. There was just a note, lying on the bed.

There was a note this time, too. But Matt was too afraid to look at it; too afraid of what it would say. He felt his breath come rapidly and he tried to calm himself down. _He wouldn't leave me…not after last night. He couldn't. He'll be back. Yeah. He probably just wrote to tell me he'd be back. _Finally he was composed enough to pick up the letter.

_Matt,_

_I've put you in enough danger already. You should just go back to England and leave me alone. As I said, this isn't your fight. If you're the fucking retard I know you are, I'll be at the airport at 10. Gate 23. I'll have your ticket._

_Mello_

"Thank god." Matt let out the breath he didn't realize he had been holding and a smile rose to his face. He hadn't realized how tense he was until the tension fled his shoulders. He looked at the time and cursed. He only had 30 minutes to make a 45 minute drive – and that was without traffic. He would break laws, all of them, if it meant he could get to Mello.

It was only with the greatest restrain that he managed to pull on his clothes, not even bothering to find clean ones. He grabbed his cigarettes and his DS and was out the door.

"You better be worth this, Mel." He growled, looking for his car. It was gone. It was a problem, but the red head wasn't above 'borrowing' one. He saw a red Corvette sitting against the curb a few yards from where his had been parked. Without hesitating, he unlocked the door and had the car running within a few minutes. He had to admit it was a much nicer car then his broken down Buick.

It seemed to take ages, but he made it to the airport in record time, leaving the corvette sitting in the drop off lane. He regretted having to part from it, but the car held nothing on the excitement he felt at finally being involved with Mello's plans. The blonde was waiting for him just inside the automatic doors. Matt's heart soared, but sank when he saw the blonde's frown.

"What the hell took you so long?" Matt mumbled an apology that was lost on the blonde who was already walking through the crowed towards the security check. Following behind, Matt was able to appreciate Mello's body in the skin tight leather outfit he was wearing. The burns were almost totally hidden under the hood of his leather jacket, which Matt considered a shame.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Matt asked as they collected their things from security. Mello just gave him an annoyed glance and strode quickly down the long hallway.

"Japan." He said. "I'll fill you in when we get in the air." Matt had to run to keep up with the blonde's ground eating stride.

"Home of the best video game designers." Matt said. "Sounds like a plan." He laughed and almost ran into Mello as the blonde stopped and turned around abruptly.

"We're not going for fun." He snapped. "This is serious. If you can't handle that, leave. I don't have time to watch over you if you're just going to get in the way."

"I won't get in the way." Matt said, sobered instantly. "And I won't let you leave me again." Satisfied, Mello nodded and strode away. They went in silence after that, boarding the plane without looking at each other. Before he knew it, they were in the air. Matt pulled out his DS and started playing a game, still too afraid to look at Mello. They made it over halfway before Mello spoke.

"I am glad you decided to come, you know." The blonde said. For once he was looking at Matt, but the intensity of the gaze made Matt turn away and blush. "I was worried you finally got some good sense and had decided to stay."

"I didn't have a choice, Mel." Matt said, glad for his goggles because he didn't have to look into Mello's eyes directly. "I had to follow you. It's not fair you got all the fun these past five years." He tried to make light of the situation.

"It wasn't fun, Matt." Matt sighed as the new, all-business Mello stuck his head out again.

"I know. It was a joke." Seeing that the moment was over, Matt just sighed and went back to playing his game. Next to him, he could feel Mello sink back into a sulk, arms crossed.

"We are now beginning our descent." The voice of the head stewardess said. "Please fasten your seat belts." Matt had never taken his off, so he didn't have to put down his game. Mello didn't move next to him so he assumed the blonde had also kept his on. As the plane started angling down, a movement from the blonde made Matt glance in surprise. Mello said with his whole body pressed against the seat. His eyes were closed and his fingers were gripping the seat as if holding on for his life.

"Are you seriously telling me the big bad Mafia leader is afraid of flying?" Matt said, laughing. "I don't think holding on to the seat is going to help you if we really are crashing." Mello opened his eyes long enough to glare at Matt, but a slight rocking of the plane send him back to looking straight ahead, eyes closed.

"Come on, Mel. You have to open your eyes. Landing is the best part." Matt was looking over Mello to the window, enjoying the view. The buildings were getting bigger and bigger.

"Shut the hell up, Matt." Mello said through gritted teeth. "And stay in your own seat." The red head just laughed.

"Let go of the seat, Mel. It didn't do anything to you." Matt carefully loosened the blonde's grip and took the closest hand into his own. He yelped in pain as Mello squashed his fingers. "I didn't do anything to you either. Relax." A hiss escaped the blonde's lips, but the death grip lessened slightly. "Now open your eyes. The city really is beautiful." To his surprise, Mello actually did open his eyes, but one sight out the window was enough and he quickly averted his gaze to the red head's. Finally they landed, and Mello pulled his hand out of the smaller boy's.

"Never." He said. "Never tell anyone or you'll wish the plane had crashed." Matt just laughed and strode down the aisle and out of the plane.

"Where to, boss?" Matt asked, turning to Mello. For once in his life, the blonde looked lost.

"You don't happen to speak Japanese, do you?" Matt was surprised, because they had both learned to speak every major language at the orphanage.

"I'm a little rusty, but I remember the basics. Don't you?" Mello didn't answer; he just strode towards the exit of the airport.

"Get us a cab to a hotel. I don't care which one." Matt let out a huff of annoyance, but pushed through the crowed to catch up to the blonde. Mello's mood swings were worse then a woman's, he thought with a wry smile.

The cab pulled up to a nice hotel and Matt leaned forward to pay the man even as Mello was halfway to the doors. Matt jogged to catch up with Mello and they entered together. Mello stood at the counter, looking lost as Matt asked for their rooms.

"Single queen or two twins?" The lady asked. Matt glanced at the blonde quickly, then back at the receptionist.

"Single." He said quickly. He blushed and Mello gave him an odd look but didn't say anything. The receptionist didn't flinch, but she did give him an odd look as she handed him the room keys. He thanked her and directed Mello to their room.

As soon as he saw the room, Mello threw himself on the bed, wincing as he landed on the still-sore burns. His eyes closed and Matt stood in the doorway awkwardly, not sure what the blonde expected him to do.

"Umm…Mello…" He said, clearing his throat. The blonde opened one eye and glared at him.

"Yes, Matt?" Mello asked. He twisted to look at the red head standing at the door. "Get over here; I'll break my neck trying to look at you standing there." Matt moved quickly, still trying to gather his courage.

"Should we talk about what…um…about yesterday?" A lazy smirk flitted across Mello's features at Matt's obvious discomfort.

"I thought it was pretty clear what happened." Mello said, propping his head up on one hand.

"I was just wondering…did you mean it?" He blurted the words out quickly. He had to hold back his annoyance as Mello's face remained in a smirk.

"I meant every word." The blonde smirked.

"Be serious, Mel." Matt said. He couldn't keep the annoyance out of his voice. "I just…I've always loved you." If possible, he turned an even deeper shade of red when he realized what he had just said. It was the blonde's turn to be shocked.

"God, Matt. You're such a girl." As if done with the conversation, Mello lay back on the bed. "Just go to sleep. You're messed up from the jet lag." With that as a clear dismissal, Matt curled up on his side of the bed, fighting back the tears that burned in his eyes. He hated himself for being so stupid as to actually tell the blonde what he felt. He tried to be angry at Mello for leading him to believe that the feeling was mutual, but then he realized Mello had never said anything about caring for Matt. Perhaps to Mello the kiss was just a release for all the fear from the near death experience.

Matt wasn't sure how long he lay on the bed with tears streaming down his face but when he woke again, he was alone.


	7. Shopping

**Miko: **I'd apologize for taking so long but I really suck at updating. Hopefully I'll get the next one faster because it'll be easier to write. There are only one or two more chapters anyway. So...enjoy.

* * *

**Shopping**

In the days that followed their landing in Japan, Mello regained his old energy and irritability. Matt had not confronted the blonde again, but had taken to avoiding the apartment whenever possible. It was the third day in Japan and Matt woke up early. He slipped into his clothes silently and pulled his goggles over his eyes as he eased the door open.

"Don't you dare sneak away again, Matt." The red head briefly considered slipping out the door anyway, but the sound of Mello's feet hitting the floor stopped him. Even newly recovered, Mello would be able to outrun him and there was no telling what the blonde would do then.

"I was just going to run to the store – we're almost out of chocolate and cigarettes." Matt knew it was a lie. To make up for leaving the blonde stranded during the day, Matt had taken to bringing home as much chocolate as he could carry. Evidently Mello knew it was a lie too because the blonde appeared in Matt's line of sight.

"Close the door and get back in here where I can keep an eye on you." Mello was standing with one hand on his hip wearing only a pair of Matt's boxers.

"Where else would I be going?" Matt asked innocently, closing the door and smiling pleasantly at Mello.

"How should I know?" Mello had made it to the dresser and pulled on his leather ensemble for the third day in a row. "So far you've managed to leave me stranded here for two days. Care to enlighten me?"

"Stop being so melodramatic." Matt said. "I'm sure some of the people speak some English." Evidently criticizing Mello wasn't going to be a good idea because the glare the blonde sent was enough to make Matt set down the cigarette he was about to light.

"We need to get some new clothes." Matt tried to change the subject and it seemed to work. Mello, fully dressed, walked up so he was standing beside the shorter red head.

"Yes. Your stench is starting to overpower the smell of smoke." Mello smirked down at Matt, who couldn't think of what to say. "I'm sure you've run across a clothes store in all your wandering." Matt didn't want to admit to Mello that his wanderings hadn't taken him to any clothes shops, so he just nodded and made some noncommittal grunt.

"I'll take that to mean you have no clue where to buy anything that doesn't require batteries." When Matt didn't contradict him, the blonde sighed. "God, Matt. You're truly the most useless person I have ever met."

"That's not fair." Matt said weakly. "I did bring home chocolate." Mello had just started unwrapping one of the plethora of chocolate bars. He raised it to his lips and looked at Matt. He snapped the chocolate bar and chewed it slowly.

"I think there was some kind of clothing store down that one road with the…uhm, the second one I went down yesterday." Matt grinned sheepishly behind his goggles and Mello just groaned.

"I can't believe I'm stuck in Japan with a fucking video game junkie." Mello said, walking out the door in front of an annoyed Matt. Several people in the halls greeted Matt by name, which only served to infuriate the blonde walking behind him.

"It's not my fault you've spent two days being a hermit." Matt mumbled, hoping Mello didn't hear him. From the dazed look on the blonde's face, Matt assumed he was in the clear.

"Don't you remember how to say anything?" Matt asked as they got into a cab.

"No." Mello said, crossing his hands over his chest. Matt sighed and gave vague directions to the cab driver. He tried several more times to coax something more then monosyllables from the blonde, but made no progress.

In fact, they completed the entire shopping trip in silence, save for a few choice comments – insults from the blonde – on the clothes. By the time they finished, Matt was thoroughly tired of spending time with Mello, who seemed to share the red head's feelings. When they walked out of the store, Mello stood by the curb, waiting for Matt to call a cab. Matt, however, had other ideas. His bags in hand, he started walking down the sidewalk, not waiting for the blonde to follow.

"Where the hell are we going?" The angry words accompanied the swift tap-tap-tap of the blonde's shoes as he ran to catch up with the shorter boy.

"I'm hungry." Matt said, lengthening his stride to keep ahead of the blonde. "I think I saw a restaurant when we were driving here."

"I'm not hungry." Mello said. "We aren't here on vacation, in case you've forgotten."

"Well, if we don't eat, we won't be here at all." Matt said. "And we can talk about the plan while we eat." Mello fell back in sulking silence as Matt attempted to navigate through the streets. Finally, they made it to a small food stand and bought their lunch.

"So what's the plan?" Matt asked. He ducked as the blonde hurled a piece of chicken at him and laughed.

"First tell me what the fuck was so important that you ditched me for two days." Mello responded, shoving food in his mouth.

"Well, I figured the plan would involve surveillance, so I gathered the necessaries." By the time they finished their lunch, Mello was much happier with Matt, though he still refused to share the plan until they were back in their hotel room. To spare the blonde, who was beginning to look pale, Matt decided they would take a cab back to the hotel room. He was also curious to know what the plan was.


	8. Plan

**Miko: **Hey! Not bad time for making a new chapter, huh? I've been trying to write this since I finished the last chapter, but I couldn't get it to sound right. For this chapter and the next(aka the last) I will have one part from Matt's POV and the next from Mello's.

Also, I have an idea for an AU story with these two that will include Matt punching Mello in the face, one of them becoming a rockstar, and murder. Would anyone be interested in reading it? I won't start until I finish Flashes.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

**The Plan**

_Matt's POV_

When the blonde finished talking, Matt stood in a daze. His brain couldn't seem to comprehend the words he had just heard, and a slack expression filled his face. He mumbled something about leaving before grabbing his jacket and a pack of cigarettes and nearly sprinting to the door. The blonde may have shouted something after him, but Matt wasn't able to distinguish words.

Once out of the hotel, he broke all pretenses at feeling normal and took off at a sprint. Even going on his tenth year as a chain smoker he could run a fair distance. When he finally stopped, panting and exhausted to the core, he was able to process the conversation he had just had.

"Do you remember when I asked what you would say if I wanted you to die?" Matt nearly laughed, but Mello's face was totally serious. He made a conscious effort to appear as though he was trying to remember the conversation, though in truth he could recall every word the blonde had spoken to him since they were children.

"I'd ask you how." He whispered, surprised at how weak his own voice sounded.

"Did you mean it?" He had to catch his breath as Mello leaned closer to him, eyes locked. Matt cleared his throat, not wanting to sound weak or unsure of himself when he answered.

"Of course, Mello." He said, satisfied with his voice. "I meant every word." The blonde leaned back and bit his lip before reaching for a bar of chocolate sitting open on the table beside them. Matt waited for Mello to snap a bite off and have time to finish chewing before expecting an answer.

"Then Matt, I need you to help me with something." The blonde's eyes shifted away from Matt's. Not wishing to break Mello's tenuous concentration, the red head said nothing, content to look at Mello's face without the harsh glare he usually received. Suddenly, he was all too aware of how the sun filtered in through the window, illuminating the smooth half of the blonde's face while casting the burnt part in the shadows. Matt was so consumed with the beauty of the man sitting before him, that it wasn't until Mello's eyes flickered towards him and the blonde's face contorted in anger that he hadn't been listening.

"Did you hear a word I just said?" Mello asked, eyes flashing.

"No." Matt said, letting a sigh escape his lips as the blonde's head turned and the illusion was shattered.

"Fine. Just pay attention this time." Matt just nodded and listened to Mello in stunned silence. After the first sentence Matt wanted nothing more then for the blonde to laugh and call it all off as a joke, then toss an insult at the red head for believing something so stupid. But Mello continued on, apparently oblivious to Matt's growing horror. Finally, Matt couldn't sit still any longer so he stood up and began pacing, head always tilted towards the blonde's toneless voice.

Matt hadn't been able to give any reply to the end of Mello's plan, so he had left. Now he was standing in the middle of some park, totally alone. Even with the trees surrounding him, Matt felt as if the walls were closing in on him, threatening to squeeze out every ounce of sanity his possessed.

_Calm. _He thought. _I need to be calm. _He focused on his breathing, slowing it down enough so he was no longer gasping for air like a fish out of water. With the slowing of his breath, the sobs he hadn't realized he had been emitting also slowed. _Mello just asked me to walk towards death with my eyes open. Why does that upset me?_

The red head knew that one day Mello would be the death of them both, but it had never bothered him before. Even now, the thought of facing certain death did not bother Matt. He had come to terms with death as a child watching his mother kill his father and then herself. He courted death himself with every cigarette he lit. Then he realized the cause of the problem. Mello.

Never before had Matt realized that Mello would die one day. To his mind, Mello was invincible. Mello was the one constant in Matt's world of constantly altering values. But the plan Mello had just spouted involved certain death for himself, while only a high probability for Matt. What if –

Matt couldn't even follow that train of thought. There was no chance he could survive loosing Mello again. Once had nearly torn him apart at the seams, and the only stitching holding him together was the hope that one day they would be reunited. Matt would literally die from heart ache, not from heart attack from the all-knowing god Kira, but from the pure agony of existing in a world without Mello.

Of course Matt couldn't tell Mello that. The blonde had never understood the illogical emotions that Matt was prone to. Mello, Matt knew, could live in the world alone. Mello was strong enough to forge on, to make a life for himself. So that was that. Matt would take Mello's place when they carried out their plan. For now, Matt wouldn't let on a hint that anything was wrong. He would force himself to walk back into the hotel and set up for his surveillance of Misa Amane without a whisper of complaint. Matt could do that much. He had to.

* * *

_Mello's POV_

When Matt slammed the door shut, Mello allowed himself to stand. He couldn't help the surge of anger directed at the red head, but he quickly quelled it. Who wouldn't deserve to be angry after being told they needed to die? Mello had sat in the hotel room for two days trying to come up with some alternate solution that would force Kira, or the second L if everything was as Near suspected, to tip his hand.

Mello had left out Nears involvement in the plan when he spoke to Matt. As much as Mello hated Near, if hate was indeed strong enough to encompass Mello's feelings towards the albino, he had come to realize that they would have to work together to find Kira. The man was clearly just as cunning as L had been, and Mello had never met anyone who could play at L's level.

Mello couldn't help but secretly hope that Matt would refuse to help. If the gamer wouldn't lend his support, the entire plan would fall apart and they would both be spared a painful but necessary death. He knew he had no right to ask Matt to die, but he also knew there was no other choice. He regretted bringing the red head into this twisted game at all. If only Matt had known what was good for him and had stayed in England safe at Whammy's.

Even as he wished it, Mello felt a stab of pain. He relied on Matt so much more then he would ever let on. He had always considered Matt the one constant person in his life. Matt was the only person who ever took the time to understand that the hostility he projected at the world wasn't to be cruel, but to hide the weakness inside. Not that Mello would admit that even to the blonde.

After almost an hour, Mello began to worry that Matt had simply left and would not come back but the sound of the door opening dispelled that fear. When Mello looked at the red head, he saw beads of perspiration rolling down his forehead. The boy's eyes were red, as if he had been crying. But his lips were set in a thin line of determination. Mello knew the words before they were spoken.

"I'll help you." Unable to control himself, Mello strode towards the younger boy. He knew his eyes must look as haunted as Matt's, so he quickly rearranged his features into the haughty mask that had become so natural.

"It's about time you made up your mind." He said quirking one corner of his mouth. Matt smiled back, but it was forced and only flashed across his features for a second before the calm mask returned.

"I never had a choice." The words enraged Mello. He did not want Matt to be forced into anything. He needed the red head to see that there was always a choice. Before he could get any words out, however, Matt's lips were pressed to his and the gamer's hands were wrapped around his head. As quickly as it started, Matt pulled apart, a glint in his eye.

"Oh no you don't." Mello growled, pouncing on the younger boy and pulling him towards the bed.


	9. The End

**Miko: **I so fail. Majorly. I give you permission to flame me to death. My computer died and I haven't been able to get online at all. Finally I begged my friend to let me use her laptop so I could type this chapter.

This is it - the very last chapter of this story. I hope you like it. I wasn't quite sure how to end it.

* * *

**The End**

**Matt's POV**

Matt's surveillance of the model was less then fruitful. For all appearances, she was nothing more then she seemed to be on the surface - a shallow girl whose beauty had gotten her everywhere in life and her brains had vanished along the way. Still, Matt sat 24 hour surveillance on the girl. On hour 30, Matt heard Mello walk in the hotel room. The red head didn't even glance at the blonde, but pretended to be riveted on the model as she prepared her lunch - some kind of salad that seemed to consist of nothing but lettuce, and a bottle of water.

"She's not your type." Mello's voice beside Matt's face took the red head by surprise. He jumped back and tried to stand at the same time which resulted in him falling off his chair.

"What the fuck, Mello." Matt said, picking himself up daintily. Mello was laughing, a sound that Matt had to admit was wonderful to hear after so much seriousness. "And what do you mean she's not my type?"

"Well, look at her." Mello said. "She's practically a stick." At this Matt gave an obvious glance at the emaciated blonde, who pretended not to notice. "And she doesn't even know how to cook."

"And she's not you." Matt added softly. "You forgot that." Mello grunted, but didn't reply. They stood in silence watching the model for a few moments before Mello heaved a dramatic sight.

"What's wrong with you, Mel?" Matt asked.

"Obviously Amane is not in with Kira. Either she never was, or she just isn't now. But it doesn't matter, because she is a dead end." He took a bite of the chocolate bar in his hand. "Tonight we'll carry out our plan. Tonight we'll catch Kira, or die trying." The words were ominous, but Matt didn't let Mello see the shiver of fear that shook his entire body.

----

**Matt's POV - Later that day**

The equipment Matt had used to watch Amane was dismantled and discarded in various bins around the city. Nothing could be traced back to them. Mello had been in and out of the hotel room, but when he didn't volunteer the information of where he had been, Matt did not want to ask. To face certain death took bravery, and Matt still wasn't sure he was ready to let the blonde do that. Finally, at 4, Matt couldn't bear the silence any longer.

"This could be our last day together and you keep leaving." Obviously the blonde hadn't been expecting Matt to speak, because he looked dazed. "I don't know about you, but I sure as hell don't want to die after an entire day of silence."

"I'm sorry, Matt." Mello said with an unusually subdued tone. "I've just been...thinking. You know you don't have to do this, right?" Matt pursed his lips and frowned.

"I could never let you go out there alone, Mel." Matt said, standing inches from the blonde now. "No matter what you say, I love you. And I always have and I always will. And I know that in your own way, you love me too. Even if you'll never admit it." And Matt kissed the blonde, a sweet kiss that was, for once, undemanding. They stood there for nearly an hour, the gamer's head resting on the blonde's shoulder and their arms entwined around each other. Neither spoke, but in the silence they were able to convey more then any words could. Finally, five PM rolled around and they broke apart and couldn't look at each other.

"So it's time now." Mello said. Without a glance at the red head, he grabbed the keys to a motorcycle he had purchased and headed out the door. Matt followed holding the keys to a car he had not seen, but Mello assured him would get the job done. Now all he had to do was get to the TV station first and draw the guards away before Mello could. Then Mello would take Takada, hopefully without pursuit. Matt was glad the blonde wasn't speaking because there was no way he could hide his new plan from him. As far at Mello knew, Matt would take Takada after Mello had drawn her security away.

"Matt, you know I...love you...right?" Matt blinked in surprise. The blonde was sitting on the bike, not looking at Matt. But Matt just nodded, and said nothing. Not because he didn't care, but because he didn't want Mello to know how much it meant to him.

"Goodbye, Mel." Matt said, sliding into the car without bothering to see what kind of car it was. "See you on the other side." And they were off.

---

**Mello's POV**

Mello knew something was up when Matt zoomed off before the motorcycle had started. He had a sinking feeling in his gut as he put the bike in gear and sped off after the red head, only to find the roads clean. He kept up a steady stream of curses at the gamer, but all the while hoped he was mistaken and that Matt had gotten lost but would still stick to the plan. When Mello got to the TV station and there was smoke clouding the whole place, he knew that the red head had switched roles, and a curse escaped his lips. But there was no time to delay. He easily got Takada to get on the bike behind him, and he had an easy job of shaking off the few security cars following him.

Tears streamed down his face as he drove, because he knew he would never see Matt alive again. He knew that his friend - his love - was going to die. He hated himself more at that moment then ever before. He could have lived with all the murders he had committed in the past, but with the blood of the only person he had ever cared about staining his hands, he would gladly have let Near win to turn back time to when they were both young and safe in Whammy's.

He got in the truck and forced Takada in the back before pulling out a hand held television set. He wasn't prepared to see Matt die, to watch the bullets pierce the red head's laughing face, to see him fall to the ground. But he couldn't take his eyes off the screen until the newscaster was back on, spouting something unimportant. Mello realized then that he would die. He did not care, though, because he had watched himself die in slow motion on the television screen. He had not been able to comfort Matt, as Matt had comforted him while he was facing death. Matt was strong, and Mello was weak. Matt had been able to push death back, but Mello had only pulled it close, firing the bullets into the gamer's helpless frame.

Mello didn't feel his heart stop, because it was so broken he didn't think it was working anyway. He didn't see the world slipping away because everything was blurred through the tears anyway. And he didn't feel the flames licking his body, because his soul was already gone from the body that was so useless it couldn't even manage to save the one good thing in the world. But Mello did see a bright light, and as he ran to it, he saw a familiar red haired boy sitting in a tree, legs swinging and his eyes fully concentrating on a game. His tongue was stuck out of the side of his mouth. Mello knew what he needed to do. He climbed the tree, surprised to see his skin gleaming white, unmarred by flames. He pulled himself up so he was sitting level with the gamer.

"I love you, Mel." The red haired child said.

"I love you too, Matt." Mello said, surprised that his voice sounded like a child's. "And I always will, no matter what you say."


End file.
